I’m sick, down with fever and blocked nose, and definitely painful sore throat! I haven’t eaten since yesterday night, and my last food was dengdeng. It must be the dengdeng, and the smokes from my mum’s kitchen (since she used charcoal to save gas). Maybe there’s a reason for this, a way out for tomorrow.

For all the muslims out there, I wish you a happy Eid Mubarak. I sincerely seek for forgiveness for all the wrong that I’ve done to anyone.

Labels: Family, friendship, religion

Ramadhan is coming to an end. I must admit I fail in most of the aspect of religion. I’m weak but for certain circumstances, I manage to pull through the negativity in me. The Syawal’s songs and the eagerness of people preparing for the festival, really excite me but it won’t be the same.

I’m in the state of dilemma, to follow my ego, or to let it go. He’s driving my parents for the eid udilfitr and it’s either I follow or not. Maybe I’ll stay home, I’ve promised myself I will never need any help from that useless bustard. Maybe you’ll think I’m an ego and stubborn girl but God knows, God knows…

Anyway, I don’t care anymore.

I somehow found a new happiness. It won’t be for long I know but I’m just crazy. Sorry for those who know about it…I know I bother all of you a lot and you’ve been a great listener! Thanks!

“I was born with a fire inside me. I call it- my Phoenix Fire. I am no victim – that word only describes what happened to me. Nor am I a survivor because that implies I’m over it. I am a Phoenix – a work in progress. This is my story.” – Broken, Shy Keenan

Labels: Emotions, Family, Love

Labels: Emotions, friendship

I wish I had the means to help. My mum kept complaining about her work, about how she wishes she doesn’t have to work everyday. I feel guilty sometimes. I could have started a real career but I had doubts. When I told myself, I won’t care about my family matters on my personal plan, I didn’t thought I would change my mind now.

This month really gonna burn a big hole in my pocket. Children’s day, hari raya preparation, dinner outside, zikri’s bday, driving…By the way, I don’t know why I’m getting worst at driving..hahaha

I’m trying to make full use of my time; I hate to feel like I’m wasting my youth’s time. I borrowed some books today, and really hope that I can finish reading the books because of the time, I gave up on reading simply because of laziness!

Somehow I miss zikri…like everytime I see him around, I can’t get my eyes off him…he’s so cute and if he were not a cry baby, I would have kidnapped him away. Hahahaha…

I’m not really looking forward for the coming eid mubarak…it’s like now, I’m an adult, and working, everyone expect me to “give” something….errmmmm….ahhhhggrrrrrr
I don’t even know what’s the first day plan…I mean, if my parents were to decide on following my brother, then I guess, I rather stay home. At times, I really want to run away from them, but I know time is a factor too. How long and much time do I have to show my appreciation and love for them.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I don´t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That´s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying: You ain´t what you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain´t you! You´re better than that!"

LAMPIRAN SURAT MAJLIS UGAMA ISLAM SINGAPURA PADA AKHBAR BERTARIKH 1 OGOS 1973. KEPUTUSAN YANG BERSIDANG PADA HARI SELASA 31.7.1973 BERKENAAN MASALAH MENDERMA ORGAN ADALAH SEPERTI BERIKUT:

Menderma semasa hidup:

Hukumnya haram.

Alasannya:

1. Berdasarkan firman Allah s.w.t: Janganlah kamu menceburkan diri kamu di dalam kebinasaa.(Al-Baqarah: 195)
2. Berdasarkan qaidah hukum Fiqih: Bahaya tidak boleh ditolak dengan bahaya.
3. Badan dan seluruh anggotanya adalah amanah Allah pada diri saseorang manusia itu. Tiap-tiap satu daripadanya akan disoal di akhirat kelak. Dalilnya firman Allah: Sesungguhnya pendengaran,penglihatan dan hati, semuanya itu akan disoal. (Al-Isra_36)

Menderma setalah mati (berwasiat):

Hukumnya haram juga.

Alasannya:

1. Setiap mayat yang boleh dikebumikan mestilah dikebumikan. Dalilnya firman Allah s.w.t.: Bukankah Kami menjadikan bumi tempat berkumpul orang-orang hidup dan orang-orang mati. (Al-Mursalat: 25 & 26)
2. Dan firman Allah: Kemudian Dia (Allah) mematikannya dan memasukkannya ke dalam kubur. (Abasa: 21)
3. Kemuliaan mayat itu ialah pengkebumiannya. Kalaulah ada anggota yang tertentu yang harus diberikan kepada orang lain berarti ia tidak dikebumikan, nescaya seluruh badan mayat itu juga boleh diberikan dan tidak akan dikebumikan.
4. Dari hadis Aisyah r.a bahwa Rasulullah saw. telah bersabda: Memecahkan tulang si mati adalah seperti memecahkan semasa ia hidup. Riwayat Abu Daud)
· Kitab Al-Majmoo Juz 5 (citakan baru) Bab:Memikul dan mengkebumikanmayat.
· Muatta_ ibn Malik
5. Memotong sesuatu anggota daripada mayat termasuk di dalam artikata menyakiti orang mu’min lelaki dan perempuan, hukumnya haram. Alasannya firman Allah: Dan orang-orang yang menyakiti orang-orang yang mu’minat tanpa kesalahan yang mereka perbuat, maka sesungguhnya mereka telah memikul kebohongan dan dosa yang nyata. (Al-Ahzab: 58)
6. Berpengan pada Qaidah: Bahaya tidak boleh ditolak dangan bahaya, oleh kerana mengeluarkan sesuatu organ itu bermakna merosakkan badan mayat, maka ini adalah satu penghinaan terhadapnya, sedangkan munafaat daripada orang itu belum dapat dipastikan samada faedahnya setimpal dengan apa yang telah dilakukan ataupun tidak. Sedang mengkebumikan dan menghormati mayat itu hukumnya wajib dengan Nas yang terang dan nyata serta amalan setiap umat manusia yang bertamaddun dari zaman berzaman lagi, kecuali sebahagian kecil sahaja.
7. Apabila hukumnya haram maka wasiat si mati itu tidak sah, kerana tidak sesiapa pun daripada orang Islam berdasarkan hukum Islam dapat menjalankan wasiatnya, kerana kita ada wasiat yang lebih terang daripada Allah dan RasulNya supaya mengkebumikan mayat dengan segala anggotanya tanpa kecuali dengan penuh penghormatan kerana seluruh anggota tubuh badan adalah amanah Allah kepadanya.
8. Penghormatan kepada mayat adalah satu daripada amalan Rasulullah s.a.w. Baginda pernah berdiri menghormati jenazah yang lalu di hadapannya walaupun terhadap jenazah orang kafir. Sayyid Sibiq di dalam kitabnya yang bernama Fiqhus-Sunnah Bab jenazah telah menukilkan perkataan Ibn Hazm katanya: Elok berdiri terhadap jenazah yang lalu walaupun jenazah kafir. Imam Al-Bukhari dan Muslim telah meriwayatkan daripada Sahl bin Hanafi dan Qais bin Saad iaitu ketika mereka berdua duduk di kawasan Al-Qadisiah maka diangkat orang satu jenazah lalu mereka keduanya bangun menghormatinya. Maka orang berkata ini jenazah orang di sini (yakni kafir zimmi). Maka jawab mereka; Rasulullah s.a.w. pernah bangun menghormati jenazah yang lalu kemudian dikatakan kepada baginda: Itu jenazah Yahudi. Maka jawab baginda: Bukankah itu juga satu jiwa? Maka berdasarkan ini, mayat orang yang bukan Islam sekalipun kalau menurut undang-undang Islam, tidak boleh dipermainkan atau diperhinakan kerana Allah s.w.t telah berfirman: Demi sungguh telah Kami muliakan anak Adam. Apatah lagi untuk dibelah-belah atau dipotong dengan tiada sebarang sebab yang diakui oleh Syarak.

Dan saya suka hendak menambah sebagai nasihat daripada saya. Pendermaan organ bukan satu amalan jariah yang diakui oleh syarak kerana:

a) Tiada Nas atau dalil yang terang yang membolehkan pendermaan itu. Yang ada hanyalah Nas yang melarang.
b) Berdasarkan Hadis: Jika mati anak Adam terputuslah amalannya melainkan dengan tiga perkara: Sadaqah Jariah yakni wakaf, atau ilmu pengetahuan yang berguna atau anak yang salih yang mendoakannya. Hadis ini sendiri menafikan amal jariah dengan organ, kerana hadis itu hanya khas bagi tiga perkara itu sahaja. Iaitu sedekah yang berkekalan saperti wakaf atau wasiat dalam harta kekayaan jika ada harta, itu pun satu pertiganya sahaja, anak yang salih dan ilmu yang berguna yang diajarkan.

Dengan ini saya anjurkan agar umat Islam supaya berlumba-lumbalah mencari harta untuk amal jariah, didiklah anak supaya jadi anak yang salih yang mendoakan dan tuntutlah ilmu yang berguna supaya diajarkan kepada orang lain.

Inilah khidmat dan bakti yang dikehendaki. Janganlah kita melibatkan diri di dalam perkara yang bukan-bukan kerana Allah telah berfirman: Dan janganlah kamu turut apa-apa yang tiada kamu ketahui. Sesungguhnya itu akan disoal. (Al-Isra_: 36)

Ugama adalah hak Allah. Apabila membuat sesuatu fatwa ugama atau mengeluarkan hukum hendaklah dicari keridhaan Allah s.w.t dan RasulNya sebelum mencari keridhaan manusia.

Syed Isa bin Mohd. Bin Semait
Mufti Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura 1. 8. 73

Labels: community, religion

I just start a new organizer, and this will be my 2nd one. I never really end up using the organizer actually, but I always thought it is nice to plan my time and everything in life, so there’s something to look up for. Maybe, I’ve lost that motivation and this, I hope will pick myself back again.

I’ve been having on/off fever and headache lately, for quite sometime now. I feel cold most of the time too! Surprisingly, there’s no other symptom like runny nose. Anyway, I finally, decided to go for the operation! Doctor and nurses told me, after the operation, I would need to eat soft food a lot for fast recovery…and the nurse mentioned ICE CREAM! Yayyyyy….

I have a new resolution for myself. I will not be indecisive in planning and deciding on anything and everything. It gets me on my own nerves when I can’t decide on as simple as…what to eat for dinner!!!!

My friend had started on her 21st birthday party/celebration planning. It strikes me thinking of my own birthday. I just want a beautiful memorable birthday. Maybe…cakes? Ermm…lots of presents….nice food….Overseas celebration? Hahaha..just kidding….I just want to be treated like a princes on that day…okay..that’s too much..hehe

Anyway, it kept me wondering actually, why some people are always cheerful. I envy them, and they inspire me too. Currently, actually been quite a long time, I like listening to Fiza O in RIA fm…She so damn cute and funny, real and spontaneous too.

Driving was bad today. I wasn’t in the mood. I almost banged on a car…haha.

Yay…tomorrow can collect my new specs.

Labels: Dreams

Labels: Emotions

Good things, sometimes, come in a wrong time. Gggrrhhhh… this morning itself, I had 3 phone calls for interview for tomorrow and Saturday! How I wish I could take leave for tomorrow. Idiot!
***
I’ve been having fever and headache for a few days now. I’m so tired. Tomorrow will be a super long day; interviews back to back, and definitely rushing to go work. Unfortunately, I have to work alone tomorrow. Haaizzzz…All I hope now is for things to go well and smoothly, all I need now is strength to go through another day.

Labels: Work

Labels: Family

Today was rather long boring day due to cancelled plans. So, I stayed home, watched tv and the time seems to pass slowly. Hahaha…But, it doesn’t turn out that bad after all. I went shopping with my mum and had some chat with my parents and Rhy.

Shopping at Geylang at night was like being sardine in the tin and shopping with my mum can be funny yet irritating. Funny because she can simply squeeze through everyone, walk in the middle of the road (like it’s hers) and cut queue (and still thinks she’s not in a wrong at all). Hahahaha…. she’s simply cute, remind me of Miss Swan.

But of course, of all she is, it can get embarrassing too. She has different liking for things and most of the things that she like is in shades of gold! So boring and obit!

Today, I kinda open up to my parents a bit. I told them about my hope to live overseas (either studies or working) and they simply disapprove me. They disagreed on me furthering my studies (because they think diploma is enough) and even reluctant to allow me work at Tuas (To my mum, Tuas is like in America!)! Well, too bad for them, I live my own life and I’ll do whatever best for myself. Yet, sometimes, this stops me from living my dreams because parental blessing is important to me.

My mum always has this hope that I get a good job (a decent job with ‘okay’ income’) and get a good husband ( a malay local guy who respects elderly and takes care of me). She always complain about my brother having an Indonesian wife, and how she wish she have local daughter in-law with her family around. Unfortunately, my dreams does not coincide with hers.

I joke with her just now…

Me: maaa…orang tak nak khawin dengan
lelaki Melayu ah…takde wawasan ah…merepek je…

Mum: Abeh kau nak
khawin dengan orang ape?

Me: Orang
Puteehhh……hehehe

Mum: Kau tak kesian kan aku…dah tua..bapak pon dah
tua….nanti kau tinggal kat luar negeri semua…nanti mak tiap-tiap malam nangis
tau…tak nampak mata kau….bla bla bla….

Labels: Dreams, Family

Here we are again in the holy month of Ramadhan. It seems like just yesterday I went for work at Zuellig on the same month, and break fast while walking down the Geylang Bazaar. So much has past, in such a fast moving life…ermm….I just feel blessed for another chance of life.

There’s something in me, like a disease, eating me from inside. There will time where nothing can ever break me, unbound. There are times, I just want to kill, punish every one for this life, and I have become the victim. No one would ever understand this.

Ramadhan Mubarak!

Labels: Emotions, religion

I’ve been wanting to blog but I can’t seem to put my words to describe my
feelings right now.
I’m lost.

Labels: Emotions